Alone in a Crowd

First of all let me start by saying that this is not a plea for attention, pity or suddenly lots of visitors. It is merely me acknowledging my feelings. I was unsure of whether or not to publish this, but if you are reading this then clearly I did.

 

I am very lucky to have lots of amazing friends and family for some brilliant support networks and I know that I can call on them if I need to. When I am home and it’s just me and my baby, Alanna, I am fine and just get on with things. It helps that she is super cute and we entertain each other all day.

Today, however, I decided to go to Blenheim Palace Food Festival with Alanna which was a fantastic event, it was very busy and buzzing with people and yummy smelling food as well as some live music. We had a lovely time, I had a falafel wrap which Alanna tried, and she seemed to enjoy her first taste of falafel. She also enjoyed watching all the dogs as we walked around.

I am not very comfortable in large crowds, especially when I am trying to walk and people just stop or block the obvious path, this only gets more complicated when trying to manoeuvre a pushchair. It makes me get stressed out so I was doing my best to stay calm and not get stressed as I was attempting to find somewhere to sit whilst pushing the pushchair with one hand and holding the falafel wrap in the other. I eventually found a seat and had a quick sit down. After enjoying lunch we went into the butterfly house to see all the beautiful butterflies and finches flying around. We then started to head to the car to come home. That was when the feelings of loneliness kicked in, I realised that even though I had actually seen some friends when we first arrived and had had a few conversation with strangers that it was just me and Alanna and it will be this way for a while.

I know that I need to get used to it just being me and Alanna for a while as my husband is away with work for a bit. I have a lot of different groups of friends, from some of my best friends and neighbours, Rach and Rich, the local Mummy group, NCT group, craft group, home friends, London friends, Uni friends and Yorkshire friends as well as my amazing family and in-laws so I rarely have to go to events alone with Alanna but it is a skill I have to learn. If anyone has any tips on how to feel comfortable alone in a crowd please comment down below.